There’s this GMC commercial where an official suit-type says that most Americans don’t think of fuel economy when they think of a crossover (a term that I had never heard before these car commercials). He says that the GMC Acadia gets better fuel economy than the Honda Pilot (which is not saying much). The commercial ends with the directive, “Look it up,” and shows www.fueleconomy.gov.

So, I looked it up. I see that the Acadia FWD model has a highway rating 1 MPG better than the Pilot’s 2WD model, but that the combined rating is the same. Call me cynical, but is this supposed to be impressive? Is 24 MPG on the highway impressive?

My guess is that part of the effectiveness of this campaign might lie in the authority of the phrase, “Look it up.” It may seem like because they told me to look it up, they’re confident about the answer and I don’t need to confirm it. (The answer being, “The Acadia has ‘good’ fuel economy.”) In fact, my reaction to “Look it up” should be “You look it up, douche bag” or “I already knew that, douche bag” or maybe just “USA! USA!”

For the most part, I’ve been living in a bubble about fuel economy. I drive a small car and have only been driving regularly for a few years. Unless I’m moving across the country, I usually drive about half the annual mileage of the average American. I’m lucky, I guess. I tend to live relatively close to where I work and near all conveniences. The gas price increases over the last year have meant sacrificing about one or two take-out meals per month for me. When people talk about how much they’re “hurting” from gas prices, I guess these people have to eat out four times less per month.

So, I got curious about what Surpisingly Fuel Efficient™ means to Honda. This is what I found out from www.fueleconomy.gov:

I actually wasn’t surprised. At a combined 19 MPG or 18 MPG rating, the Pilot is only slightly more “fuel efficient” than a Hummer.

This phrase is commonly called a “playground taunt” and I guess I’m lucky that the first time I heard the phrase wasn’t until 11th grade. It’s not surprising really. If I wasn’t hanging out by myself growing up, I usually was around polite, straight-A students. I actually remember the scenario in which I first heard “That’s so gay,” and it shocked me when it happened, but it was uttered by someone in the “regular program” and, in my Oscar Wilde imitation, it seemed like something I could attribute to the lower classes.

However, the phrase is widespread, yet seemingly innocuous. You’re just as likely to hear the phrase in the conference room as you are on the playground. Some people who use the phrase claim that it has no connection to gay people. They say it’s like the word “gypped” — most people don’t know that the word is derogatory towards gypsies. But, c’mon, how many bonafide gypsies are there wandering the halls of American high schools? (As a side note, my guitar teacher in high school sought to motivate us while teaching us a somber ballad by saying, “Let’s pretend we’re a bunch of gypsies and we just got caught shoplifting.” I actually had no idea why she suggested that, because I didn’t know anything about gypsies at the time.)

It’s easy to see how “gypped” has lost its context, but what is the most common use of the word “gay” in today’s world? To say that “gay” doesn’t connote gay people seems to be idiotic, even if the idiot who said it doesn’t think so.

Is it worth fighting over? Probably not. People can use the words “bad” and “filthy” to describe something good or cool. I guess they can use a word that meant happy, then homosexual, to mean something bad (and by bad, I don’t mean good). However, I think the core irritation I have about “That’s so gay” is that the phrase itself has lost context. It reduces a bunch of other good arguments into one simple, flippant phrase. I think many things that get called “gay” are bad. But they’re bad because they’re so mainstream, they’re so bland, they’re so outdated, they’re so poor quality. They’re so acceptable. So c’mon, that’s not gay. That’s most of American society.

I went to the Gilroy Garlic Festival for the first time this weekend. To pump myself up for the festival, I watched Les Blank‘s brilliant Garlic is as Good as Ten Mothers. (And I don’t ever call any film brillant.)

The garlic braid I bought from the festival.

I had expected the festival to be a bit counter-culture, and maybe it was 30 years ago when most people, meaning white bread Americans, didn’t eat garlic. Garlic still has the stigma of being “stinky,” but I don’t think it scares The Man anymore.

I had the Gourmet Alley scampi, which was four pieces of shrimp and two pieces of bread on a bed of garlic. Then, I had the stuffed mushrooms. I didn’t find either food to be particularly garlicky, or gourmet, but maybe my garlic taste buds aren’t as sensitive as others. Maybe some of the beef or pork dishes would have had more garlic taste, but I didn’t feel too interested in paying $12 for either.

Then, I tried the garlic ice cream. I had the pecan praline flavor. I didn’t find the ice cream too garlicky either, but I could taste it in there and I really liked it actually. It’s strange to me how scared of garlic ice cream some people seemed to be. Some people seemed to really not like it, but I don’t know what flavors they were eating and if that had an effect. At any rate, the garlic ice cream seemed to be the only thing that seemed somewhat counter-culture.

The festival seemed like any other food festival. Barbecue, fajitas, corn on the cob… The arts and crafts vendors seem to be selling the same things as at any other fair… I guess, in the end, the festival has to play up the garlic twist that makes it “different” from other festivals, but it ends up being like most other festivals because most people just want some barbecue and a beer garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time. It was hot, dusty, and it took me six hours to drive up there (because I made a brief stop in Santa Cruz, it took me only five hours to drive back to L.A.), but now I’ve done it and I’m satisfied.

I cut off the bottom bulb of the braid to roast it. I had never seen a prettier garlic bulb. It looked just like a rose.

I have no picture of what it looked like after I roasted it, because I ate it too quickly. Now, that was great garlic!

Now that I live in California, and I theoretically would have an easier time at it, I could finish the trip I started back then. However, I admit my interest has waned on the subject. After seeing Mission San Juan Capistrano yesterday, though, I was reminded of why I was so taken with the missions.

There’s a link to the past I feel when I’m at these missions. I imagine the people who occupied the same ground 200 years ago. When I looked at the ruins of Mission San Juan Capistrano, I smiled, and said to myself, “Wow. Imperialism.”

Imperialism, since 1776.

Baptizing the savage boy in a loin cloth…

Richard Nixon rang these bells.

There was an 1880s reenactment that day.

I also headed down to San Diego for the first time in 20 years. I went to the Padres–Braves game. It was 1998 NL Championship Celebration and Family Fireworks Night. I’ve never really followed the Padres. The only recollection I had about their 1998 season was that they were swept by the Yankees in the World Series. However, I found myself almost teary eyed during the pre-game ceremony. Members of the 1998 team were there, including Kevin Brown (for how much, I wonder…) and Ken Caminiti (in spirit), and then millionaires and alleged drug users threw out the ceremonial first pitches to current members of the Padres. Then, they hugged and shook hands while “Now and Forever” played.

I thought the choice of music seemed odd because of the general machismo of baseball. (“Now and Forever” was the opening song for A League of Their Own.) Then, to turn the celebration up a notch, they played “We Are Family” (you know, “I’ve got all my sisters with me”). I had a great time, though, and the game had some good “small ball” plays. I mean, Greg Maddux stole a base, for chrissake.

Out of the 13 ballparks I’ve been to (two of which are now defunct), I must say PETCO Park is the nicest one I’ve seen. I wasn’t that enamored with the old ballparks that everyone ogles over (Fenway Park, Wrigley Field, Yankee Stadium) and I also thought new ballparks were pretty lame (AT&T/SBC/Pacific Bell Park, Minute Maid Park/Astros Field/Enron Field). But, you can’t trust my opinion. I like Shea Stadium.

When I first heard that this ballpark was going to be named PETCO Park, I thought it was a silly idea. PETCO? But, now that I’m a pet owner, and I’ve seen the PETCO mascots, I think it’s kind of cool. Much better than Qualcomm Stadium.

The ballpark feels intimate, yet the field is big. No easy homeruns. I liked how the ballpark faced the skyline and blended into the urban landscape, while the ocean breeze blew from behind. Airplanes touched down in the distance. It was incredible. To watch the fireworks, the people who sat in the lawn and bleacher areas during the game were allowed to sit on the field. I thought that was a nice gesture.

Nevertheless, I was moved by the assertion in the film that Griffith² was forever changed after he looked through a telescope. I didn’t stick around long enough until the telescope opened to the public, but I’ll be back there soon. I may need a life changing event in the near future.

While I was there, I also bought a Create a Night Sky Projection Kit, which I’ve already assembled. I’m not that impressed with its projection, but it was interesting to assemble.

I went there yesterday for the first time in nearly 20 years, and I must say that I was wrong. It was very nearly Heaven on Earth for me.

The drink is supposed to have the highest caffeine content on the market. It has three and half times more caffeine than Red Bull.

I didn’t expect the drink to be red. To be funny, I put it in my Coca-Cola glass.

I’m not affected that much by caffeine, so I don’t feel different after drinking Cocaine™. I feel a little dehydrated. It wasn’t as delicious as I would have liked it to be, but I’m glad I tried it. The guy who sold me the Cocaine™ also wanted to sell me a marijuana drink. Maybe I’ll go back for that!

I’m going to start carrying my digital camera around more often, because there are many moments when I say to myself, “I wish I had my camera.”

I’m sentimental, so I like songs like the one I quoted above from the Louvin Brothers. That’s also why I like David Lynch. Yes, I like David Lynch’s sentimentality—from Jeffrey and Sandy’s scenes in Blue Velvet to the golly gee-ness of the first half of Mulholland Drive.

I saw INLAND EMPIRE last week at Austin’s Paramount Theatre. It was a special screening with David Lynch in attendance. 1200 people were in the audience, give or take. When Grace Zabriskie came on screen, within the first 20 minutes of the film, it started.

The laughter.

Now, if laughter is what you feel, then laugh you should. (Isabella Rossellini said that Lynch laughed after a take of the “Baby wants to fuck” scene in Blue Velvet. She said years later she watched the same scene and laughed, too, remembering the shoot.) The laughter seemed quite pervasive among a crowd of which 33% were Austin Film Society members (and presumably “film buffs”). It’s probably safe to assume that many of the non-members in the crowd would claim to be David Lynch fans. So, I wonder, what the hell was so funny? I liked INLAND EMPIRE, although I wouldn’t say that it’ll be one of my favorite films. The laughter that night seemed to be at the film, which was quite inappropriate, considering that Lynch was in attendance. Of course, the AFS executive director set the tone for the night by introducing David Lynch as “one of our national treasures” yet encouraging people to “walk around” while the film was rolling (because of the film’s length and the people’s perceived lack of attention spans). It reminded me of other unfathomable film moments I’ve had in Austin.

In the same theatre a couple of years ago, I saw a screening of Nights of Cabiria. It’s one of my favorite films (and one of my cat‘s favorites). When Cabiria was pushed into the lake at the beginning of the film, the laughter started and never stopped. I’m reminded of my Script Analysis professor in 1999 who ripped apart one of my classmate’s criticisms of the film, when he said something about Cabiria having no hope in the end. I wonder what she’d think of people laughing at all of Cabiria’s troubles.

Cue laugh track.

Now, I know I live in Dazed and Confused land, but c’mon. Put away the dope! You’re laughing at Nights of freakin’ Cabiria!

The feeling I get about the Austin film crowd, more so than that they’re all high, is that many of them think they’re too smart for these films. Their ironic laughter represents their ironic, intellectual take on life. Austin paints itself as a city filled with smart, liberal people, but I’m reminded of another film I saw with a laugh track.

I went to an advance screening of Brokeback Mountain with producer Diane Ossana in attendance. The first time Jack Twist entered the same screen as Ennis Del Mar, the giggling ensued. Maybe they were excited about gay cowboys. Maybe they thought Jake and Heath were so cute. Maybe it’s like Anthony Bouvier on Designing Women, who laughed when he was nervous. Maybe they were stoned. At any rate, it’s the maturity level I expect of this city.

Just because a guy has a lifetime batting line of .249 BA, 22 HR, 148 RBI doesn’t mean that Fleer ought to immortalize him swinging and missing. After all, he only struck out 160 times in 1527 AB. Plus, he seems to be the only player with the name Pecota to have played in MLB.

“I’m the man? No, you’re the man!”

I’ve decided to put together a gallery of some of my favorite frequent sky pointers.

Anyhow, catalog.com has some suggestions for me if I want to register a domain similar to bangbay.com.

What the heck is a beatbight?

I love it. I’m inspired to make my own photo.

I can’t wait for baseball season, heterosexually sanctioned homoeroticism, and diva closers who fall down after every pitch and can’t seem to catch a return throw to the mound.

Pujols was among the league leaders in almost every major statistical category, tying for second in RBIs and ranking second in slugging percentage and on-base percentage, and getting more walks than strikeouts for the fourth straight season. His average with runners in scoring position, though, was only .207.

.207, really? To be sure that the last sentence was written on purpose, it’s followed by this quote, probably chosen to downplay that meek statistic:

“Albert’s award was well-deserved because he was the most valuable to our team across the board as soon as he showed up to the ballpark until he left,” La Russa said. “His value went beyond statistics.”

Now, anyone who claims to follow baseball, knows full well that Albert Pujols would never bat .207 with RISP over an entire season. It’s a pretty glaring error for an article that probably appeared in hundreds of sources. There’s something to that error that illustrates just how baseball writers seemed to want to overlook Pujols, which is also evidenced by the narrow 27 point margin by which he won the MVP award. He’s not really that valuable. But, what of the guy who came in second in the voting? The one who actually hit .207 with RISP?

I never understood the hype over Andruw Jones. Of course, I’m also a Mets fan. But, I’m bigger fan of baseball itself, and it seemed like Jones’ HR total was really getting people riled up in mysterious ways. I mean, nobody in the NL had hit more than 50 home runs since… 2001. They say chicks dig the long ball, but personally, I like players that hit for average rather than the fences.

Perhaps, I fail to see the importance of a solo home run. (32 of Jones’ 51 home runs were solo shots.) I heard one baseball commentator say that the solo home run was valuable because you’ve taken the burden off your teammates to drive you in, and a solo HR could also be a good rally starter. (A rally of solo home runs, perhaps? So as to not put too much pressure on your teammates?)

So, I decided to pick apart the games in which Jones hit his 51 home runs. This is what I found out:

Braves Record when Jones hit a home run: 30-12

But what about the run spread? Well…

1 run difference games: 4-5
2-3 run difference games: 8-2
4+ run difference games: 18-5

It looks like most of Jones’ home runs came in games with blow-outs, on either side. Much has been made about Jones carrying the Braves, but it seems like the team could still score runs. Of course, maybe Jones was the “rally starter” in those 18 wins.

Wins when Jones drove in the 1st run: 5
Out of those 5 wins, shutouts: 2
Wins when Jones drove in the tying or go ahead run: 3
Wins when Jones drove in a “filler” run: 10

The fact that Andruw Jones hit 51 home runs reminded me of the first year that I really followed baseball. The year was 1990, and that’s when Cecil Fielder hit 51 home runs. For no other reason than coincidence, I’ve decided to compare them.

Offensively, the 1990 Tigers and 2005 Braves were pretty similar.

Tigers: .259 BA, 750 R, 172 HR, 714 RBI, .745 OPS
Braves: .265 BA, 769 R, 184 HR, 733 RBI, .768 OPS

Tigers Runs Scored Per Game: 4.63
Braves Runs Scored Per Game: 4.75

Fielder and Jones lead their teams offensively by large margins.

Fielder: .277 BA, 104 R, 51 HR, 132 RBI, .969 OPS
Jones: .263 BA, 95 R, 51 HR, 128 RBI, .922 OPS

So, what were the difference makers?

Tigers SP ERA: 4.93
Braves SP ERA: 3.89

Tigers Overall ERA: 4.39
Braves Overall ERA: 3.98

Tigers Record: 79-83
Braves Record: 90-72

It’s the pitching, stupid.

Of course, it’s probably unfair to make this comparison. Jones is a spry CF and Fielder was a hulking 1B/DH. But, in 1990, Fielder came in second in the MVP voting, losing by 31 points to Rickey Henderson. So, home runs do have quite an allure. Maybe the allure is greater when they come from a guy who’s never going to hit that many home runs again, instead of a guy who’s just going to give you .300+ BA, 100+ R, 30+ HR, 100+ RBI every year. Oh yeah, and don’t forget that he plays for the Braves. Jones didn’t win the MVP award despite the hype, but he almost did, which irritates me.

One other fact of note is 1990 was the last year that the Braves didn’t win their division. Maybe 51 home runs could be a sign of something…

The search martin luther king turned up these results.

Now, the front page of martinlutherking.org gives the website the appearance of being an “educational” resource about King. Before delving into any other part of the website, there are two odd items on the front page: a quote from a Newsweek article and a link to “Why the King Holiday Should be Repealed!” Pretty soon, you’ll find out the website is just a scam by white supremacists.

This is to whom martinlutherking.org is registered.
Don Black, huh?

So, I must admit that I was both disturbed and fascinated that this website existed and that it could have received such a high ranking in the search for martin luther king. However, if you search for martinlutherking without any spaces, these are the search results:

The description from the first search is from the website’s meta tag. I wonder how the description was changed in the second search. I have a suspicion that it’s either an editorial decision or some sort of manipulation is going on, like the miserable failure search.

I’ve always been fascinated with the possibilities of search engine manipulation. Several years ago, I came across a website for Asian American women, where the creator had used porn keywords to lure people to her website, which had nothing to do with porn, and was about culture and education. She said she received a lot of hate mail for this experiment. I don’t remember the website name or URL and I wish I could find it (if it still exists), but unfortunately every search I do with the words Asian and women inevitably turns up real porn, instead.

By the way, if you want to mention the martinlutherking.org website anywhere on the web, take the advice from Ed-Tech Insider and use the tag rel=”no follow” to prevent Google from increasing its PageRank.

In Austin, I haven’t seen “dead” bicycles like these, but I see other dead items and I think to myself, “Now those are left for dead…”

After getting the run-around from the seller for weeks, I received the single CD If You Don’t, Somebody Else Will by Jimmy & Johnny. WTF, right?

So, I was disappointed, to say the least, and the seller gave me a refund after two months of more running around. But, there’s a whole crop of sellers who claim to be selling Twangin’ From Phoenix To L.A. when it’s actually If You Don’t, Somebody Else Will. Why? Most of them are those huge sellers who couldn’t bother to actually look at the title of what they’re selling. So, I looked at the UPC of my copy and there were two sets of numbers. It turns out that Bear Family used one set of numbers for both albums. Very confusing.

I e-mailed some sellers to change their listings, and some of them did. I get automated e-mails from eBay tracking sellers who list Twangin’ From Phoenix To L.A., and sometimes the real set is listed (and I’ve lost those auctions). Other times, it’s still If You Don’t, Somebody Else Will.

Well, the moral of the story is that if it looks too good to be true…you know the rest…

Maybe I should give Jimmy & Johnny a listen?